Life at Libby's

Hello readers. I know there are a few of you out there that I can see from the stats have been kindly checking in on me to see if there are any new posts to be had here at Life at Libby's. I have spent a good bit of this week pondering where this blog is headed, and I have come to the conclusion that if it is to truly be a blog about compassion and service then naming it after me is just isn't what I'm going for! So I am working on a new title and have plans to switch blogging services (I have found Typepad to just be too fraught with issues). If you like what you have read here (or you are my mom, my most loyal fan), then check back in a week or so and I promise to have a link to the new site here. Thanks for reading.

Peace and blessings, Libby

You Can Be That Servant

One of my heroes is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and I get so excited during this time of year because there is so much great material out there and accessible for so many people.  I wanted to share this link...be sure not to skip the intro, and turn your sound up!

http://www.thekingcenter.org/

Five Minute Monday

 

 

In the midst of a busy back-to-work, back-to-school, back-to-life Monday, here are a few simple things you can do in the next five minutes to make a difference in the world:

1. Pick a project at Global Giving that speaks to your family.  Consider setting up a charity chore chart and rewarding extra household chores with monetary values from $.01 to $.25.  Set a dollar goal amount, and when you hit the goal (say $15), fund your project and choose again!
2. Check out and sign the Charter for Compassion here. 
3. Hop online and reserve a copy of "Half the Sky" by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn at your local library. Better yet, order it online as a portion of the profits will go to causes supporting women and girls.  I promise I am not getting paid to promote this book.  It just moved me in a major way and is the perfect choice for book clubs, bible study groups or a compelling personal read.  More details can be found at the Half the Sky website, here.

Hope your Monday is peaceful and productive! 

Libby

Being the change

I have been obsessing all weekend over this blog.  What to write?  Should I re-name it to better reflect the content?  Am I coming across as too preachy, too earnest, not personal enough, not practical-knowledge enough?  My monkey mind has been in full swing (one of my specialties).  I have wondered what value I have to bring to the topic of changing the world.  I am, despite all of my hopes to the contrary, very, very average.  I live in a far out suburb of a major Midwestern city.  I drive a minivan and fold laundry and carpool to basketball practice and volunteer at church.  I teach drama a few hours a week.  I am not an expert on this topic.  I have a passion for it, but I don’t know the best way to raise empathetic, giving, compassionate kids.  My kids aren’t even potty-trained through the night yet.  Who am I to be giving advice?

 

This is especially true as I have been struggling with mothering lately.  My patience has been thin; the days are long and cold (sort of like I was feeling last winter).  I have been trying to stay engaged and positive but I have felt rather joyless, and being conscious of that fact has been a source of pain and shame for me.  This morning we opted for the late service at church and the day began in a pretty relaxed way.  The boys were playing and watching cartoons and I plopped on the couch in my fuzzy blue robe and spent a few early hours watching episodes of Glee that arrived yesterday from Netflix.  It was the sort of indulgent, low pressure Sunday that guaranteed to start the day off right.  And then over breakfast, Jacob spilled his chocolate smoothie all over the newly cleaned floor. And while I was dramatically sighing and tsk-tsking, on my hands and knees cleaning it up, Eli walked right through the middle of it wearing footie pajamas.  And I snapped.  I grabbed Eli and began my tirade, yelling and demanding that he change his clothes RIGHT NOW before he tracks it all through the house.  You get the picture.  It was an ugly, terrible scene.  Eli, the most sensitive and attached to me of my three boys, was in tears.  He felt awful and if it is possible, I am pretty sure that I felt worse.

 

After apologizing and helping him get into fresh clothes, it occurred to me (not for the first time, but for the first time in a while) that empathy and compassion and generosity of spirit begins right here.  Perfectionism, which has long been the evil dictator that I try to overthrow in my own life, sneaks into unsuspecting moments with my kids and I forget myself until I am mired in sorrys and regret.  I realized in that moment with E that I have to find a way to make consistent gentleness and empathy and forgiveness a way of life in our family that is without interruption.   If that kind of love without limits is as natural as breathing in our home, then as my children grow, how can they NOT become men of love and compassion?  After all, when we talk about changing the world, isn’t that where it all begins? 

 

So all of the books and articles that I have been reading and the passion I feel for getting involved in the movement for social justice are important, without a doubt.  And I will still seek ways to use this blog to speak to what all of us can do with our families to change the world.  But, I cannot and dare to say WILL NOT forget that in this case, change begins at home. 

 

 

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”  - Mahatma Gandhi

Links I Love

Hopefully you are spending the weekend recharging and relaxing a bit.  Here, the weather is getting a little warmer and though piles of snow remain, the sun is shining and it isn't quite so unbearable to be outside.  For your browsing pleasure, here are a few links that moved me this past week:

Thoughts on Blogging - while I am in love with good TV dramas just as much (if not more!) than the next person, I love what Steady Mom has to say about blogging and about a sense of urgency in each of us doing something to make the world a little bit better. 

A letter to my children - Catherine over at The Shoe Box Daily wrote this to her children, but it echoes so much of how I have been feeling about my own household lately.  Can't wait to follow this blog more regularly!

The Day Dad Punted the Snow Pants Bag - this is a very funny story by my dear friend Molly, another mother of three boys and one of the wittiest real people I know.  Any of you with small children will be able to relate!

Conservative and Liberal Voices Combine to Condemn Anti-gay Ugandan Law - this was so upsetting for me to read.  Why are church leaders going to Africa to denounce homosexuality when there is so much important work to be done on that continent?

 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Peace and blessings,

Libby

 

Life intervenes (and for me that means these guys)

I had big plans for today's post.  My long term vision is to have a theme called Fridays on Faith on this site each week.  I dream that it will be an opportunity for all of us to dialogue about how our faith (whatever shape that takes) informs the choices we make as parents, and in particular how we connect with our kids about injustice in the world, reaching out to others and trying to make a difference.  I have quotes and themes I want to touch on and a real passion for this topic...and I also have a life.

A life that yesterday meant a snow day with all three kids at home.  Which meant an opportunity to make cocoa and pop popcorn and snuggle up on the couch to watch a movie they have been dying to see.  And our neighbor kids came over to pass the time, which meant FIVE little boys seven and under running around instead of just three.  Not exactly the peaceful space I envisioned for writing my premier post on faith.  And the Interfaith Studies class I take on Thursday nights (more great material for discussion) was canceled (again, due to weather). By the time I finally sat down after putting the kids in bed, it was 8:30, Brent & I hadn't eaten yet and I was too exhausted to do any more than sit on the couch and zone out to the finale of Rescue Me (season 5) that we've been watching on Netflix. 

When I woke up this morning, tired and with a full to-do list of all the things that got postponed because of snow, it struck me that THIS is part of the story.  This is an important part of the conversation on changing the world.  We do what we can, and sometimes all we can do is be here, where we are, and not one other thing.  I think God understands.  Striking that balance is the tricky part.  To live in the moment and laugh and love on the people we care about.  But to not JUST do that.  Because loving our neighboror HAS to mean more than feeding snacks to the kids who live across the street.  How do you balance life with all of the work that is waiting to be done in the world?  If you have some ideas, I'd love to hear them.  Happy weekend, everyone!

You've been matched!

You have no idea how excited I was to read those words!  As a result of reading Half the Sky (more on that next week) and seeing the authors interviewed on Oprah, Brent and I felt so moved to get involved with this organization.  Women for Women International supports women in war-torn regions like the Congo, Sudan, Afghanistan and others by offering financial and emotional support, job skills training, rights education and small business skills help.  For less than the cost of my monthly caffeine addiction, we can directly sponsor one woman for the duration of the year-long program.  In villages across the developing world, cohorts of women begin the program together, encouraging community and building a sustainable support network.  Women earn skills and income (a significant portion of the $27 each month goes directly to the woman herself), which is incentive for their husbands to allow them to participate and which earns the woman respect from her families and peers.  As a sponsor, this is a really tangible giving opportunity for our family.  As part of our commitment to the program, we are encouraged to write monthly letters to our recipient, who may, if she is able, write back with the assistance of an interpreter.  Graduates of the program say they gain as much value from the personal notes as they do from the money and training, some carrying the letters with them in little bags around their necks.  As one woman wrote, "Your letters make me feel so important as a person because I know there is someone in this world who cares and supports me."  I love that for such a small amount of money we will help to change a woman's life and the life of her family, and that she will have a face and name for our boys and for us.  How cool is that?

On New Year's Eve we felt moved to commit to sponsor one woman, and today we found out that we have been matched!  Details will follow in the coming weeks when we receive our packet from Women for Women.  Stay tuned!

My friend Jessica over at www.lifeasmom.com is talking about reading today and setting goals for books to tackle in 2010.  Reading is my truest getaway while never leaving the house, and realistically, my goal for the new year SHOULD be to read less and clean my house more, LOL.  However in the spirit of developing and re-making this blog, I would like to set a few reading goals for the year and I would love your help.  What are some great books you have read about inspirational people who have used their lives to make the world a better place?  How about books about children that have done the same?  Have you been touched or moved by a novel or memoir that inspired you to make changes in your life?  If so, I would like to hear about it and add it to my list.  Here are a few titles that fit this category and others that have caught my eye that I would like to make it through in 2010:

AFRICA

Strength in What Remains  Tracy Kidder

The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind: Creating Currents of Electricity and Hope  William Kamkwamba

Say You're One of Them  Uwem Akpan

Infidel  Ayaan Hirsi Ali

FICTION

Day After Night  Anita Diamant

Firefly Lane  Kristin Hannah

People of the Book  Geraldine Brooks

In a Perfect World  Laura Kasischke

 

PARENTING

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys  Dan Kindlon & Michael Thompson

Nurture Shock: New Thinking on Children  Ashley Merryman & Po Bronson

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child  John Gottman

SPIRITUAL/INSPIRATIONAL/WORLD VIEW CHALLENGING

The Third Jesus: The Christ We Cannot Ignore  Deepak Chopra

Re-discovering Values: On Wall Street, Main Street and Your Street  Jim Wallis

The Case for God  Karen Armstrong

Acts of Faith: The Story of an American Muslim, the Struggle for the Soul of a Generation  Eboo Patel

WRITING

The Artist's Way  Julia Cameron (this is a 12 week program and I am three weeks in)

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life  Anne Lamott

Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer  Roy Peter Clark

WHAT ARE YOU READING THIS YEAR?  Please leave a comment below while I try to figure out this Mr. Linky thing!

 

Raise your family. Change the world.

I love those words.  I love them because aside from making sure everyone in this house feels cherished, full-bellied and clothed, they are my greatest aspiration for the five people who live here.  Before you start to think that we are selling the ranch and moving to Africa, let me set you straight -- we're not (at least not yet).  What I do want to do is re-consider the way we live in this world and the way we relate to the other people we share the planet with.  I want to start a dialogue for all of us who are striving to teach our kids about what we have and the needs of others.  I want to open my children's eyes to the magnitude of our blessings and raise a little tribe of men who "bear each other's burdens" in a way that is not only good for humanity but that makes them people filled with joy.  Not too much to hope for, right?

One thing I want to make perfectly clear from the beginning of this journey is that I don't have the answers, but through reading and researching and sharing with you, my community, I hope we can figure it out together.  I am writing to you from my too-big home in my comfortable neighborhood in my town that seems so solidly middle class.  Picturesque hometown America, where 237 families show up to receive food at the mobile food pantry five days after Christmas.  As a mom of three little boys, I try to do the little things -- donate old clothes, make meals for new moms, take my kids to church, and yet after opening a pile of presents on Christmas morning, my four year old (who has never wanted for anything except the occasional denied dessert) is in tears because, "Mama, I thought there would be more."  I am seeking a better way and trying to answer a call that I keep hearing.  A call that I think all of us, regardless of or as an answer to our diverse faith traditions need to consider to be the people we are meant to be.  I hope you'll stick around and join the conversation.

When I started this blog last winter, it was mostly to provide an outlet for me to write...to share the funny dramas of my day, to emote, think out loud and have a written scrapbook of sorts for this period in my life which is so filled with memorable moments. I spent an extraordinary amount of time over a few days writing a few posts that I was proud of, shared them with a few close-to-me folks who gave me nothing but postive feedback -- and then I quit. Probably because my expectations of myself were far too high...lengthy, from-the-heart posts each day with no regularly scheduled writing time during which to complete them. Possibly because I shared with just enough people to get feedback but not enough people to really make a commitment to the whole thing. Each day since last winter I have thought about things that I should write, or could write, if I would just, well, WRITE them. And during that time there has been a shift in me. This blog is about to get a whole lot busier, and my focus will change. Since I am pretty sure there is nobody reading it, I don't think anyone will mind. Stay tuned. Details to follow.